


Turnabout is Fair Play

by therealmnemo



Series: Fenris, Hawke, and their Little Bird [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Grown Children, Kidfic, M/M, Pranks, girl time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 17:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5974890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealmnemo/pseuds/therealmnemo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aunt Isabela comes into town and spends the day with Beth, but first she and Hawke decide to test Fenris' blood pressure.</p><p>Fenris, predictably, gets his revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turnabout is Fair Play

**Author's Note:**

> This was started during FenHawke week for Day 1 Humor prompt but I got distracted and overwhelmed with PAX.. So here, have some fluff. I already have another part started but it's taking a back seat to finish another fic. 
> 
> I also think Beth needed some girl time, right?

Beth slowly lifted her eyelids as she heard soft leather rub across the blanket at the end of her bed. There were a pair of boots, crossed, and attached to those legs a very scantily clad women reading a book. The woman scratched an itch under a golden stud piercing below her lip and returned it to her book. Beth must have moved because the woman’s eyes flipped up from the book to lock on her own. She lifted a finger to her lips, “Shhh!” She dropped her boots to the floor and crawled up onto the bed and whispered, “Fenris doesn’t know I’m here yet and Hawke is going to be a brat about it, so we’re just going to wait for our wake-up call, alright kitten?” Beth giggled at the woman curled up beside her, and pulled her blanket up to her nose. 

The sound of footsteps and hushed whispers approached the door, small tidbits of the conversation coming through the door.

“Both Anders and Isabela are sharing a room at the inn for now, but I’m going to offer our last room to them when they join us for breakfast. No, don’t give me that look.”

“I feel that would be most inappropriate considering our histories, but I want to make sure I can trust them around Beth to train her first.”

Hawke’s distinct laugh filtered through the wood. “And yet you trust me?” Fenris groaned.

Beth closed her eyes as the door opened, feigning sleep. 

“Beth, it’s time to wake up, we have visitor coming so-  _ VENHEDIS!”  _

All hell broke loose. Hawke clinged to the doorframe to keep from falling over in his laughing fit, Isabela fell on the floor with a resounding thump while giggling madly, and Beth looking up at Fenris who had phased across the room to shove the pirate onto the floor. 

“Da! Your face!” Beth squealed, “your ears are so red!”

Isabela leaned up against the bed and pointed at Fenris. “They do that whenever he’s embarrassed, among other things.” This earned another round of raucous laughter from Hawke.

Fenris recovered quickly and offered his arms to Beth. She shoved off her blanket to sit up and grab for the outstretched hands, quickly falling back into morning ritual. He grabbed her hands and lifted her onto her feet. Once steadied, he turned to face the door for her to grab his shoulders, hopping onto his back. 

“Once you two are quite finished..” directly addressing a still bent-over Hawke as he moved through the door, “ we’ll be downstairs eating.”

* * *

 

“I hope you realize, if you were Anders, you’d have a hand in your chest.” Hawke wiped the tears from his eyes and walked around to help Isabela off the floor. “You said you were just going to sit on the chair and wave.”

“I saw an opportunity, and I seized it,” she grabbed Hawke’s bicep for emphasis. “Good to see domestication hasn’t made you both soft.”

Hawke rolled his eyes, “We better get down there before Anders shows up.”

* * *

 

Once the table was cleaned from the abbreviated meal, Fenris sat in his chair in the den and let Beth crawl up on his lap. Hawke collapsed in his own chair, while Isabela stretched out on the rug in front of the fireplace. Fenris noticed that Beth couldn’t keep her eyes off the pirate. 

“Is it possible for you to wear pants around my daughter?”

“Aww, Fenris. If I shell out gold for pants, how will I purchase her first set of leather boots?”  She crossed one knee over the other and pointed at her own thigh-high boots as if to imply a pair similar to her own.

Fenris grunted at the reply, rolling his eyes when Beth’s eyes went wide at the sight of the leather monstrosities. 

“Besides, you never used to mind me not wearing pants.” 

He could feel the anger bubbling under the surface and addressed Hawke directly, “So help me, Hawke, I will throw her out in the street by those damned boots.”

Hawke, on the other hand, was doing his best not to break behind the hand covering his mouth. 

“Hey, Kitten.” Fenris looked back at the pirate who had crawled over to the chair and was now face to face with his daughter. “Your Papa thought you and I could have some girly time today. I mean, after I help you drop all those silly bad habits I’m sure your Da taught you with those daggers.” She had the nerve to look past Beth to wink at him.

“I see no harm in it, she could use some quality girl time Fenris. It’ll give them something to do while we wait for Anders to finally arrive,” Hawke chimed in. 

Fenris mulled over leaving Beth alone with Isabela. 

“Are you sure you don’t have a spell that will filter out her vulgarities?” he asked Hawke, keeping his eyes on Isabela. She returned the glare with a pout.

“Fenris, how can she teach Beth if she can’t talk? That’s pretty much how it would work.”

“Fasta Vass.”

“And you say I’m vulgar.”

* * *

 

The market in Lowtown was crowded for such a brisk Spring day. Beth stuck to Isabela’s side as they dodged the residents congregating around the stalls. Isabela attempted to hold Beth’s hand at one point, but the she just looked questioningly at Isabela’s hand until she put it back on her hip. 

“You are definitely Fenris’, aren’t you Kitten? Just make sure you stay close to me.” 

Beth nodded and fidgeted with her daggers under her cloak. She was a little nervous; this was the first time she would out in Kirkwall without either her fathers or her Uncle. She kept pace with the beautiful pirate that Hawke referred to as her Aunt Izzie. The tall, curvy woman was not like anyone she’d met before. She’d never seen a woman with so many piercings, walking around with no pants.  _ No, not walking _ . Beth couldn’t quite figure out what she was doing but it was so much prettier than walking. She tried to exaggerate her own steps beside the pirate. 

“Kitten, what are you trying to do?”

Isabela’s bewildered look caused Beth to stop and her eyes dropped to the ground, ears tipped as red as Fenris’ own that morning. 

“Oh no, no. That won’t do, cupcake.” Isabela bent down to place a hand on Beth’s shoulder and the other on her chin, pulling it up to look at her face. 

“Don’t you ever look down. You’re a beautiful girl, and someday men will swoon as you walk by. For right now, you keep those pretty eyes to the horizon. No one in this life is any better than you, and make sure they know it.”

Beth blinked away tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes, and mustered up the slightest grin. She lifted a hand to wipe her face, her cloak opening. Isabela took the moment to look over the girl’s clothing, noticing the daggers in clear sight around her waist. 

“First things first, we need to get you some proper gear to hide those weapons. Then maybe some actual girly things? Is that alright with you Beth?”

The small grin turned into a smile that stretched across the child’s face. 

“Thank you, Aunt Izzie. I’d like that, very much so.”

* * *

 

Back in Hightown Plaza, Isabela worked the buckles of a small harness on Beth’s back. It was made for a larger woman, but she cut the excess leather off with her own pocket knife. The small daggers fit perfectly in their holsters, just within reach of the girl’s small hands. 

Isabela grinned at the small elf. They spent the better part of two hours in the market stalls looking over robes and tunics. She picked out two sets of robes, one in purple and the other red, that they dropped off at Lirene’s for alterations. She also picked up two small tunics and a pair of dark leather pants. Beth didn’t seem to have the same aversion to shoes as the rest of her race, so they picked up a pair of ankle boots as well. 

“Alright Kitten, let’s see what your Da taught you.”

Beth picked pulled the daggers from their sheaths and crouched low to the ground. 

“Oh, I wish he would have just put a big sword like his in your hands, he’s got your foundations all wrong.” 

Beth’s shoulders slumped.

“It’s fine, I’ll have you dancing with those daggers before you know it, let me have them.”

Isabela took the daggers from the small hands and took a knee beside Beth. She took them in a firm grip, showing Beth the proper ways to hold them. Once her charge nodded, she placed them back into her hands and moved her small fingers into place. Isabela couldn’t help but notice the look of sheer determination on her face; Fenris carried the same expression often on their adventures. 

“Now, put your feet like mine. A lot of people will tell you that rogues are all stealthy and do everything from behind.” She mused on that for a second. “Don’t repeat that.” 

Beth’s determined look broke into confusion causing Isabela to chuckle.

“I’m a duelist. When I want attention, I get it. This includes when I’m attacking.” She lunged forward, and then immediately dropped back while thrusting a dagger. “They’re going to think they have the upper hand, but you’re going to use their cock-sure attitude against them.”

Beth imitated her, giggling as she thrust her own dagger. Isabela sighed, working with a child was going to be challenging.

“Don’t repeat that either.”

* * *

 

The sun was starting to crest over the mountains when Isabela decided that lessons were done for the day. She made a note to pick up some poisons from Darktown so she could teach Beth how to use them properly. Just because she was small and could fling magic around didn’t mean she shouldn’t know how to work poisons onto her weapons. 

Isabela stopped to listen for something. Hightown was all but empty when they walked by the Blooming Rose. 

“Ok kitten, one last thing. Your Uncle Anders should be bringing your Da by soon to come get you. We may have concocted a few pranks on our way here.”

Beth’s eyes were wide with shock. She remembered the prank from the morning. It was funny watching Fenris flustered if not recklessly dangerous.

“You see that bar behind you? We’re going to go inside, but we’re going to wait right inside the door....”

* * *

 

Fenris walked behind Hawke and Anders as they caught up on their walk through Hightown. Hawke was being his usual animated self; hands motioning wildly, peppering conversation with terrible puns.  The mage was quieter, but kept up with equally painful dialogue, filling them both in on his trip back from the North. 

The sun was starting to set, and Fenris absent-mindedly rubbed his arms for heat. If Hawke had no issue with Isabela being here, he would afford Anders the same courtesy.

They were on the hunt for Isabela and Beth at the moment. The pair didn’t return after their ‘girly time’ as the pirate called it. He tried hard not to think of the bawdy comments he imagined Beth’s ‘worldly’ Aunt would be teaching her when he almost walked face first into feathered pauldrons. 

“Kaffas,  _ mage _ .” 

The two taller men had stopped while continuing their conversation just outside the Blooming Rose. Fenris’ patience was wearing thing. Catching up could wait, they needed to find…

_ No, it couldn’t be _ .

The door to the Blooming Rose opened and both Beth and Isabela walked out, both laughing gaily and.. _ no _ , Beth asking the pirate if they could come back the next day. He barely made out the childish giggling coming from the grown men at his back. 

“BETHANY HAWKE.”

* * *

 

Fenris huffed as he carted Beth away on his shoulders. His ears felt like they were on fire as listened to the loud guffaws of the three adult children fade in the distance. His markings lit up the the alleys as he stormed off in the direction of the Hanged Man. 

Small hands were wrapped tightly under his chin and he felt Beth shaking. He gave an assuring squeeze to the knees he had a hold on. 

“Your Papa thinks this all to be so hilarious, but I think I know just how to get him back.” 

He opened the door to the bar. It was close to empty during the week, and he sat Beth down on a bar stool. “Corff, could you get a glass of milk for my little bird? I need to talk to Varric.”

The bartender stared at Beth, clueless at what to do with a child in the bar. He shrugged and went looking for a mug to fill with milk.

* * *

 

Beth sat on Fenris’ lap while he and Uncle Varric played cards. She watched over the cards in his hand while she tipped the oversized mug to her lips. She didn’t quite understand the game, but it was apparent from the look on Varric’s face that he was losing. She tilted her face up to Fenris and shook her head. 

“Broody, that’s cheating. Kids always know when you’re bluffing, and you’re using her as your own personal detector.”

“It’s not my fault you bluff so poorly, dwarf.”

Beth giggled as Fenris won another hand. Varric sighed and pushed a few coins across the table. 

“So, what else did your Aunt Izzie teach you today little bird?”

Beth opened her mouth to answer when another voice answered for her. 

“I taught her how bad her father is at wielding daggers.”

Beth turned in Fenris’ lap to look over his shoulder. Hawke, Anders, and Isabela were walking to the table, all with shocked looks on their faces. They all grabbed mugs from Corff and sat down around the table. Fenris pulled her back around and put his arms around her. 

“Also, I just sat inside the door at the Rose, I didn’t have her partake of the services as you seem to be encouraging here.”

Fenris nudged her and Beth handed her mug over to Isabela, who looked inside to see that it was only milk. 

“Da said that you come here for stories, and said that Uncle Varric tells the best ones.”

Beth watched the different reactions on their faces. Isabela flashed Fenris a wicked grin, Anders buried his face in his hands, and Hawke sipped his ale while narrowing his eyes. 

“He asked Uncle Varric to tell the story of the night you all tried Dwarven Ale for the first time!” She looked back at Fenris and Varric to make sure she said everything right. Fenris patted her head and gave her a squeeze.

Hawke’s face paled, while the table erupted in laughter. Varric cleared his throat, “Yes, the night Hawke was convinced he shape-shifted into a dragon! It was Winter, and the Qunari had just moved into a compound off the docks. Somehow, we all ended up here. Rivaini here finished a job that paid in Dwarven Ale…”

Hawke flushed bright pink and leaned in to Fenris’ ear. “Oh no, this is dirty even for you.”

Fenris held Beth tighter and grinned, “Turnabout is fair play, Hawke.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr!
> 
> main blog: [therealmnemo](http://therealmnemo.tumblr.com/) \- where I reblog practically anything but mostly Dragon Age  
> creative blog: [mnemosyneawrites](http://mnemosyneawrites.tumblr.com/) \- where all my fics, drabbles, drawings, and podfics live and take [prompts](http://mnemosyneawrites.tumblr.com/promptme)  
> anders and fenris blog: [teambluandangry](http://teamblueandangry.tumblr.com/) -Positive Art, Fanfiction, Headcanons, and Character Analysis for Fenris, Anders, and any ship they sail.  
> 


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